Hell Explained

Just as the title states, crap that makes no sense what-so-ever goes here (i.e. spam).
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Comie
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Hell Explained

Post by Comie »

BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT



The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.


The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :



Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.


This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
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Re: Hell Explained

Post by Solid Rock »

Why the huge amount of spacing?
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Re: Hell Explained

Post by Pantho »

Solid Rock wrote:Why the huge amount of spacing?
Be copied from somewhere.

Was amusing though.
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Re: Hell Explained

Post by Comie »

yeah copied from an email, will tidy it up, had to go to lunch.
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Re: Hell Explained

Post by MoonlitStalker »

That was good. XD
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Re: Hell Explained

Post by Fero Max »

That lad definitely deserved an A+ :)
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Re: Hell Explained

Post by Myrlin »

Aww good for that kid. He finally hooked up with her. When I recieved this e-mail in 2005 or 2006 it ended like this:
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, that "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then (2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

This student got the only A.
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Re: Hell Explained

Post by Solid Rock »

Myrlin wrote:Aww good for that kid. He finally hooked up with her. When I recieved this e-mail in 2005 or 2006 it ended like this:
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, that "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then (2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

This student got the only A.
But the conclusion still stands that hell is exothermic regardless of whether or not he slept with her? Sounds like a sloppy rewrite of the joke.
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Re: Hell Explained

Post by a4nic8er »

This urban legend is older than me!
Live every day, As if it may be your last, For one day will be.

If laughter can be contagious, why do we never hear of any mirth pandemics?
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